I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
