It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
