There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
