Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
