Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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