she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize