i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
