Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
im about as happy as oj after his trial
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We're too hungover to prance.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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