Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize