I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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