i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
we're so committed to being not committed
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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