marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
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