Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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