It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
