I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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