she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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