Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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