You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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