Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
