this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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