We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
