I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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