pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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