Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
