you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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