i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
