Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I would ride that face into the sunset
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
