Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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