I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
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Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
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So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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