whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
