Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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