Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
