i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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