btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
