I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
