What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
