I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
