True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
