I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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