Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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