I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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