"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
