I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
