i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
