what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize