Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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