I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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