Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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