Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
