Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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