The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
