God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
