quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
BRING THE BAGELS
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
