Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
