Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just want to make out with him forever
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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