you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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